A Feminine Side
by triddge
Summary: Eames scanned under Ariadne's desk for anything interesting, and his stopped when he came across a box labeled "Barbies".  Eames pulled the box up and then opened it, and saw a flurry of Barbie dolls and clothes. A wicked smile spread across his face...


Eames grabbed out his keys from his coat pocket and unlocked the big, silver doors, and casually walked inside. He was the first at the warehouse today. He then walked around each team member's workplace, first scanning Cob's desk which had a picture of Cob's kids on the beach, and then another picture of Cob and Mal, smiling and laughing together. Eames put the pictures back down very gingerly into their original places. Eames then walked over to Arthur's little desk, which had Arthur's little totem dice sitting in the center, while around it was a picture of Arthur playing the piano from when he had to be like, five years old, and then a picture of Arthur's favorite painting from the Louvre, the Mona Lisa. And what was this? A little strip of pictures from a photo booth at the museum, tiny pictures of Arthur and Ariadne, which made Eames have to do a double-take.

Ariadne had to be...like what, maybe fifteen years old? Ha, that couldn't be right, she was already in college. Eames thought hard about it again, and finally concluded she had to be around eighteen or nineteen, tops. **"Personal Note, ask Ariadne how old she is when she comes in today"** he said aloud to himself, before stopping in place once again.

**"Another personal note, tell Arthur that he should take me with him and Ariadne the next time they go to the Louvre"** he said, chuckling as he walked over to Ariadne's desk.

Models covered the whole top of the desk, so Eames crouched down and looked under the desk for anything intriguing, and his eyes widened when he came across a box labeled "Barbies".

Eames hit his head on the desk when he came back up, and he pulled the box up and cleared some space from the desktop, before placing the box on the desk. He then opened the box up, and gazed inside. There was a flurry of Barbie dolls that had to be from the 90's, along with an array of clothes. Ballgowns, boots, heels, swimsuits all cluttered the box, along with six barbie dolls. Eames picked them all up, one by one and assessed them, and then his eyes widened in shock and he threw his fists up into the air, screaming out loud,

**"WHERE IS THE KEN DOLL?"**. And then his worst fear had come true before him. Ariadne did not own a Ken doll, or any male barbie doll for that matter.

Eames just shook his head, and then picked up the blonde-haired barbie doll with interest and curiosity. Eames then picked up some of the clothing he had tossed behind him, and opened his hand up to see what he had caught. There was first a brown coat with black trim, and there were black buttons. Then there was a dress, the top half was white with polka dots, and the bottom half was pure black. There was then a pair of pale yellow heels, and a black cap hat that looked like it was from the 1920's. Eames dressed up his barbie doll carefully, and then held up the finished product. She had long, curly blonde hair, which Eames had spent about ten minutes of non-stop brushing to achieve, and he outfit had materialized and gave her the look of a 1920's office woman. Eames decided instead of a telephone operator that she would most definitely have to be a secretary, and even as an extra touch to match the time, he drew lines on the back of her legs to make it look like she was wearing stockings.

Eames looked at his barbie doll in admiration,** "I'm going to name you Elise!"** he said, as he then started to cradle the doll. Eames was in this type of trance for about ten more minutes, until he felt a hand on his shoulder. Eames eyes widened, as he looked up and saw Yusuf looking down at him with the barbie doll in his hands.

**"Eames, I don't think I want to know what you're doing with that doll"** he said calmly, and started to walk away before he felt a tug at his coat.

**"Her name is Elise..."** Eames said softly, slowly raising the barbie doll up more so Yusuf could see it better. Eames then continued,

**"She's a secretary"** he said, as he pulled the doll back down and hid it in his coat. Yusuf tilted his head and then squatted down beside Eames. Yusuf then picked up a tan, raven-haired barbie doll, and studied it, also with curiosity like Eames had displayed before.

**"Whose dolls are these anyway?"** Yusuf asked, shaking around a barbie doll and seeing it's hair blow all around.

Eames then started to stroke his barbie doll's hair gently,** "These belong to Ariadne"** he said simply, before looking over Elise again. Yusuf slammed down the barbie doll, and prepared to get up.

**"I wouldn't play around with those Eames, Ariadne might get upset"** he said, motioning to Eames to hand him over the barbie doll, but Eames refused.

**"Elise is MINE!"** he said, as he pulled the doll closer to him, and started to adjust her hat. Yusuf sighed and sat down again, and picked up the barbie doll he had from earlier. Eames noticed this, and he made a cocky smile, **"Just think of it as a chance to study your feminine side, Yusuf"** he said, as he pushed the box of clothes by Yusuf's foot. Yusuf hesitated for a second as he thought over Eames' words, and then with a weary hand, picked up a pink sleeveless top, and fit it on his barbie doll.

Yusuf continued, grabbing floral flannel pants, a big black belt, a black chauffeur cap, black ankle boots, a pink, bulky wristwatch, a golden chained necklace, and golden framed sunglasses. Yusuf then added these items onto his barbie doll, and finished the look off by tying the barbie doll's raven hair into a long, flowing ponytail. When he was finished, he shook his doll in front of Eames' face. **"TA DA!"** Yusuf softy cheered, as he handed the doll over to Eames, who looked over every inch of it, as Yusuf waited for Eames' approval.

Eames instead turned his head slowly, giving Yusuf a glare of confusion.

**"What the hell is she supposed to be?"** he asked Yusuf, who's excited face turned into a angry face.

Yusuf then yanked the doll away from Eames' hands, and started to stroke through the ponytail. **"She's a hip-hop dancer, duh Eames!"** Yusuf said, sticking his tongue out at Eames when he was done explaining. He then turned to face Eames again, "And I've decided to name her Stefani!" he said triumphantly, while Eames looked at him with even more confusion than before. Yusuf then cradled his barbie doll, and Eames' expression changed. Eames then smiled and patted Yusuf on the back, and then a giant smile formed on his face.

**"Hey Stefani, did you come here for a job interview?"** Eames said while speaking in a high, female voice.

Yusuf turned around and saw Eames holding his barbie doll where she was walking towards his own. Yusuf nodded, understanding now what Eames was doing.

**"Why yes, Elise, I'm here for a job interview!"** Yusuf said in his own high-pitched female voice, and the two men giggled at their folly.

**"I'm hear to dance for your boss!"** he made the doll said, and then two men laughed again. In fact, they were so distracted by their laughter and their folly, that they didn't hear the sound of doors opening and closing.

A dark shadow appeared over the two men, and as the froze in place, they looked up in horror and embarrassment as they saw who was watching them. It was Saito. He had his arms crossed, his foot tapping the ground, and his eyes wide with fear, confusion, and his own embarrassment.

The trio watched in silence, looking up at each other occasionally.

Saito then cleared his throat and cocked up one of his eyebrows,** "Are you two playing with barbies?"** he asked, with a sarcastic tone, and he bent over to get a better look at the dolls.

Yusuf gave Saito a sly smile, **"We are exploring our feminine side Saito, come join us!"** he said, as he picked up another raven-haired barbie doll and held it out towards Saito.

Saito blankly stared at the doll for a few minutes, before he gingerly took it out of Yusuf's hands, and studied it over. Saito then squatted down on the floor beside the two men, and started rummaging through the box for something his doll could wear. Eames and Yusuf watched him for the first few minutes, before adjusting their barbie dolls, combing hair or fixing hats, re-adjusting shoes; the works. Saito then held out his barbie doll, who was wearing a dark violet yukata, with thigh-high black heeled boots, and in her hand, was a black and white etched paper fan.

Eames and Yusuf stared in amazement and wonder at the doll, while Saito had a silly and proud grin on his face.

The two men then looked at Saito, and then they just shrugged their shoulders and smiled evenly. Saito's eyes widened,** "Her name is Kimiko, and she's a ninja assassin!"** he said with power in his voice, as Eames' and Yusuf's hearts sank down beneath the floor.

**"Then if she's a ninja-assassin, what business does she have at Elise's office?"** Yusuf quietly wondered aloud, and Eames nodded in agreement.

Saito's eyes widened in horror, he had not paid any attention to their current storyline. Saito then snapped his fingers, and moved his doll by the others.

**"Kimiko was hired by a rival business man to come and kill Elise's boss!"** he said, cackling with brilliant laughter, while Eames' and Yusuf's mouths fell open to the floor.

Eames then dropped his barbie doll to the floor, and he started to clap his hands slowly but loudly,** "THAT'S GENIUS!"** he said, as he shook Saito's hand. Eames then rubbed his hands together, grinning evilly.

**"It adds more drama, more violence, MORE ACTION!"** he said, throwing his fists into the air with every word. Yusuf nodded and started to also clap in agreement, and Saito and his barbie doll started to bow. The trio then started to act out the scene again.

**"Excuse me, Elise, I have an appointment with your boss"** Kimiko said, pulling out a dagger from behind her fan. Elise gasped, along with Stefani, completely shocked by the new emergence.

**"Why do you want to kill my boss?"** Elise yells aloud in horror, while Kimiko laughs evilly,** "It's just BUSINESS!"** she said, as she tried to stab Elise. Eames then placed his hands between the barbie dolls,** "Saito, we said no killing the main characters!"** Eames whined, with Yusuf nodding along,** "Yeah, that's not fair!"** he added, before adding a little bit more to the argument.** "How would you like it if Elise pulled out a gun and shot Kimiko with no wanting?"**. Saito froze, and held Kimiko close to his body. Saito sighed deeply and exhaled,** "Very well, I won't kill Elise...or Stefani, now let's continue"**. Stefani stepped in the pathway of the dagger, blocking it with her big and bulky pink wristwatch. **"IMPOSSIBLE!"** Kimiko yelled, stepping back from the two girls. Stefani smiled fiercely,** "I challenge you to a dance battle!"** she yells, pointing her hand at Kimiko and her dagger. The trio continue to laugh and play with the dolls, and yet again are so consumed by their folly, that they don't hear a door open and close. Yusuf stops giggling for only a second as he hears approaching footsteps, but then dismissed it as soon as he heard it. However, those footsteps were real, and they were coming right towards the trio who were playing with barbies.

A dark, shadow came from behind Eames, which made him stop humming a Lady Gaga song from the dance battle and made it turn silent. They all slowly turned around, their eyes widening in terror yet again. It was Cobb. He was leaning over them with his hands on his hips, his head tilted over his confusion and curiosity. Cobb then started to shake his head,

**"Never did I ever expect to see grown men playing with barbie dolls"** he said, his eyes full of what seemed to be anger and embarrassment. But then Cobb started to giggle, and he sat right next to Eames. **"But hey, give me one, I played with these all the time with my daughter"** he said, and the men all smiled. Cobb ended up getting the red-haired barbie doll, and dressed her up in an amber colored ballgown, which received mixed looks from Yusuf, Saito, and Eames.

**"Why is she wearing a ballgown?"** Saito asked, giving Cobb a weirded-out glance. Cobb looked over Saito's own barbie doll, **"Why is Kimiko in a yukata?"** he said, while cocking up one eyebrow. Saito laid back a little bit, before pointing over to Cobb,** "Touche, Mr. Cobb"** he said, as Cobb started to brush his barbie doll's red hair. **"Her name will be...MAL!"** he said, as he felt his eyes get a little teary. Eames patted Cobb on the back, and looked over the barbie doll.

**"Why don't you name her Alexa instead?"** he said, giving Cobb a reassuring smile. Cobb wiped away any trace of tears from his eyes, and nodded,** "YES, her name will now be Alexa!"** he said, as he hugged the barbie doll. Saito wanted to comment on this action, but Yusuf stopped him by putting his hand over Saito's mouth. The scene between the barbies continued,** "HAHA! I have won the dance battle!"** Stefani yelled, as Kimiko was on the floor on her hands and knees, quivering in defeat. All of a sudden, Alexa busted into the office waiting room,** "Are you girls ready for the ball tonight?"** she asked, as she started to show off her amber ballgown before them. All of the girls, even Kimiko fussed over Alexa's dress, and then in seconds, they were also changed into ballgowns. Elise had a black with gold strapless gown on, Stefani had a red strapless gown on, and Kimiko had on a now dark violet kimono on. They then all stood in a line at the office, as Alexa called for a limousine outside. And this group of men were so distracted by their follies and giggles, they failed to hear the door open and close again, and a new arrival had entered the warehouse.

A dark shadow appeared above Ariadne's desk, and Eames was the first to look up, with his smile brightened.

**"ARTHUR! Good to see you, why don't you come down here and play barbies with us?"** he asked, handing over the brunette barbie doll to Arthur. Cobb looked up and smiled at the Point-Man,** "Yeah, we're getting ready to go to a big ball!"** he said, as he and the others held up their gowned barbie dolls. For a few moments, Arthur just stared at the dolls, and then he picked up the one Eames had in his hand for him, and Arthur looked over the doll. He then had a frown of disapproval on his face,** "These belong to Ariadne..."** he started, before looking down at these grown men playing with the barbies.

**"And why the hell are you playing with them?"** he asked, specifically looking to Eames and Cobb, whom he expected to be the masterminds behind this merriment. Cobb pointed his finger to Eames, who just shrugged his shoulders.

**"Come on Arthur, explore your feminine side!"** Eames yelled, shoving the barbie practically into Arthur's face. Arthur sighed,** "I don't have a feminine side, unlike you four"** he said, pointing at them all. Saito turned and looked up to Arthur,**"My fellow man-friend, everyone has a feminine side"** he said, as he went back to adjusting Kimiko's kimono, while Arthur watched with a look of terror on his face. Cobb then jumped in,

**"I bet Ariadne has a masculine side!"** he said, causing everybody to look up at Arthur's now surprised and red face. Arthur just stood there, silent for a few moments. He then looked down at the barbie doll in his hands, and gave a faint smile. He then looked towards his fellow men,** "Oh, what the hell?**" he said, as he sat on the floor next to Eames. Arthur fitted a blue, black and gold strapless gown on his barbie doll, whom he named to be 'Vanessa', and the scene continued on again, with all of the men laughing and doing high-pitched female voices for another hour. During that hour, the girls had gone to the ball, Kimiko stabbed the prince (to whom Cobb and Eames objected to) and Stefani had even more dance offs with jealous girls in the kingdom. At the end of this hour of play, the warehouse door opened once again, and shut abruptly.

It was Ariadne, just coming back from one of her classes at the college. She was busy looking through pages of her textbook, when she heard the faintness of giggles. She closed her book, took off her glasses and stepped forward to try and trace the sounds. She then heard a high-pitched female voice, and she shook her head. Ariadne then walked quickly across the warehouse, looking at each team member's desk, seeing nothing or nobody there. She then froze in place and her eyes widened when she stopped right above her desk. The giggles were high here, along with the voices.

Ariadne looked over the desk, and saw FIVE grown men playing with her old barbie dolls. Ariadne just stared down at them in amazement and misunderstanding, until Arthur looked up and saw she was there. His laughter stopped, followed by Yusuf and Cobb, who nudged Saito, until Eames was the only one left giggling. Eames then stopped as he looked up and saw Ariadne glaring down upon him, in which he then stopped again, and placed his barbie on the floor, and the others followed hi action. Ariadne looked down sternly at the men,** "Who took out my barbies and started to play with them?"** she asked, and all of the fingers pointed to Eames, who just sat there, eyes closed, whistling. He then opened his eyes to see Ariadne staring him down, before he looked around at his other teammates. He then pointed his own finger at Arthur,** "He wanted to play with me, Ariadne"** he said, in which immediately came Arthur's burst of declaring that Eames was indeed, lying about the claim. Ariadne did not move anyway, she just stood there, watching Eames. Finally, Eames reached into the box and pulled out another barbie doll, handing it out to Ariadne.

**"You want to play with us?" **he asked wearily, as Ariadne just stared at the doll. Slowly but surely, a smile creeped across her face, until she exploded,** "I'D LOVE TO!"** she said, as she sat down between Arthur and Eames, dressing up her barbie in a yellow ballgown for the heck of it, and naming her barbie after herself, and the entire team spent the whole rest of the day playing with Ariadne's barbies, and did not even a single shred of work. All thanks to Eames' great discovery that morning. Eames then remembered the question he wanted to ask Ariadne from earlier that morning,** "Say Ariadne, how old are you?"**he asked calmly, but in his high-pitched female voice. Ariadne shrugged,

**"I'm nineteen"** she said, before returning to make Ariadne the barbie talk to Vanessa. Eames sat there still,** "Huh, well then next time you and Arthur go to the Louvre, BRING ME WITH YOU TWO!"** he said, staring them both down until they both turned red, and the entire group was enveloped in laughter yet again. Eames looked over to Arthur, giving him a sly smile,** "I can't have you alone with Ariadne, you're too old for her, Arthur"** he said, nudging his shoulder before Arthur erupted and Ariadne trying to calm him down, and Eames giving a final wink.


End file.
